A self-check on your sense of security | Finding inner steadiness with Aqive
newDo you find it hard to steer your own direction, hard to trust other people, hesitant at the edge of your comfort zone and unsettled by worries you cannot quite name? These are all signs of a shaky sense of security.
What does a sense of security actually feel like?
In Maslow's hierarchy of needs, security is one of the most basic human needs, and countless people live awkwardly for want of it.
In a relationship, for instance, a call that goes unanswered turns into: "When you do that, I feel so insecure." At work, seeing a colleague outperform you, you throw yourself into the job and still feel restless inside. In daily life, a news report about an accident sets off the thought: what would happen if something happened to me?
To build a stronger sense of security, we first need to be clear about what it actually is. It is a composite feeling, and it breaks down mainly into three dimensions:
1. Trust in other people
2. A sense of control over your life
3. A willingness to reveal yourself
Like a safety net running through daily life, a sense of security lets you feel at ease and in harmony with things. Without it, you swing between wanting and fearing, walk on eggshells through the relationships around you, and may even lose the capacity to build close ones.
Rebuilding your inner sense of security
Rebuilding it starts with becoming independent and strong on the inside, exploring inwards again and again until you have a steady core. Life is like a ship on the open sea: raise the sail bravely, and however the waves rise and turn, your heart stays fixed and unmoved.
Let Aqive keep you company as you find your own way to inner steadiness. We invite you to get to know yourself a little better through the quiz below — go with your instinct, pick the answer that fits best, and add up your score:
✦1. I can share my difficulties and weaknesses with the people around me
No problem at all (5 points)
Fairly easily (4 points)
So-so (3 points)
A little difficult (2 points)
Not at all (1 point)
✦2. I am comfortable expressing my own point of view
No problem at all (5 points)
Fairly easily (4 points)
So-so (3 points)
A little difficult (2 points)
Not at all (1 point)
✦3. I readily feel respected by others
No problem at all (5 points)
Fairly easily (4 points)
So-so (3 points)
A little difficult (2 points)
Not at all (1 point)
✦4. I feel confident about my relationships with others
Very confident (5 points)
Fairly confident (4 points)
So-so (3 points)
A little difficult (2 points)
Not at all (1 point)
✦5. I am satisfied with how my life is right now
Very satisfied (5 points)
Fairly satisfied (4 points)
So-so (3 points)
A little difficult (2 points)
Not satisfied (1 point)
✦6. I feel my talents are fully used in my work
No problem at all (5 points)
Fairly easily (4 points)
So-so (3 points)
A little difficult (2 points)
Not at all (1 point)
✦7. I feel safe letting other people see the real me
No problem at all (5 points)
Fairly easily (4 points)
So-so (3 points)
A little difficult (2 points)
Not at all (1 point)
✦8. I am willing to ask the people around me for help
No problem at all (5 points)
Fairly easily (4 points)
So-so (3 points)
A little difficult (2 points)
Not at all (1 point)
✦9. Whether I am with others or on my own, I do not feel lonely
Never lonely (5 points)
Rarely (4 points)
So-so (3 points)
A little difficult (2 points)
Still very lonely (1 point)
✦10. I easily feel uneasy and anxious about life
Never (5 points)
Rarely (4 points)
So-so (3 points)
A little difficult (2 points)
That's me (1 point)
— Once you have finished, add up your score and see where you are right now —
[Total 5-15 points] Your sense of security is running low: rebuild your safety net and find your inner strength again
Right now, turning your attention inwards will serve you well — recognizing what genuinely matters in your life. Only with a sense of control over your life can a sense of security follow. Let go of the energy that is not yours to carry, and find your inner strength again. When security is missing we swing easily between wanting and fearing. The article below is a good first look at how to rebuild it and explore the connection with yourself.
Further reading | How do you rebuild a sense of security from the inside?
[Total 15-35 points] Holding your direction through the wobbles: trust each decision and move closer to ease
Most of the time you can keep yourself steady, though what other people say and how things shift around you can leave you feeling you have lost your grip. Everyone is born with a built-in navigation system for life. The suggestions below are a way of switching that capacity back on, so you can see the potholes on the road ahead and learn to trust each decision a little more.
Further reading | Have you ever used the life navigation system you were born with?
[Total 35-50 points] You have a safety net of trust: keep your energy steady and enjoy the settledness
With a full sense of security, you can follow your own inner guidance and keep moving steadily whatever happens. We are all carriers of energy in this world; hold your own energy well, and let that inner security support you as it expands, filling each day. The article below is good company as you keep going.
Further reading | In this era, energy matters more than ability
—
A sense of security is a key measure of how steady a person is. Alongside the suggestions above, simple breathing practice, quiet meditation and resting in the present moment are everyday ways to bring body and mind back to an easy, level place.
Aqive is here to practice awareness with you and reconnect body and mind. On this path inwards, we invite you to stand steady at life's forks in the road and pick up calm and joy again. Change, at bottom, is simply the steady replacing of old experience with new, and the fresh understanding that comes with it. Keep walking, and one day you will notice how different you are from the person you used to be.
